Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Healthy Cooking & Chronically ill


It's one thing to have a chronic illness, it's another to take care of yourself and your family at the same time. I find myself in a constant battle between what my body needs and a total lack of energy to be able to give it just that. And then there's my children, who of course wouldn't mind so much to eat fries and pizza every day, but with whom I don't want  to take any risk of future illnesses so I want to feed them right.

It's a strange thing: I'm a professional life- and health coach. My job was helping people to start or maintain a healthy lifestyle. No matter the circumstances: food allergies, health issues, budgets...you name it. Ofcourse, that expertise had started becáuse of my ME/cfs. It had forced me in the past to find out all about the health and food connection. But now I'm in a bad flare up, I sometimes wonder how on earth I can manage to put something healthy on the table today.

My answer is: choices, planning and prepping. I consciously choose to give my children fastfood sometimes. But then I choose the least damaging of the "bad stuff". For me, I know I really get sicker if I do that, so if I want to have an easy way out, I take something from the freezer.
And that's where the prepping and planning comes in: when I know I'm going to cook something, I plan around it. No other activities for that day. And then the cooking: always in big batches, so I can keep the leftovers in the freezer for the bad days.

I made a short video about it. You can find it on my You Tube channel (link below). I talk about why it's so important to cook, even though you might not feel up to it. And I share some tips.

I'm curious how you do it. You can let me know in the comments on You Tube or here. Looking forward to hear from you!

Take care,

Mama Sanna


Sunday, May 5, 2019

locked in


It is dark and quiet
I hear the beating of my heart
A reassuring sound, in te middle of a hurricane
In my brain it shakes, flashes, crackles and hums
My whole body is shaking with it
Every muscle, painfully trembling
I'm cold
The blanket hurts the tips of my toes
Get it of me!
Noone hears me
My breathing is slow
Too slow to my liking
My heart joins in
Beating strong in a slow motion
My muscles relax
The pain rises
My body's asleep and stopped moving
Hey! I'm still awake!
Noone hears me
the sleep gets even deeper
But I'm not with it
I want to get out
I feel my hand
But I can not move it
I want to shout
But my mouth keeps quiet and shut
I want  to sigh
But my breath is asleep
And I surrender...
I wait....
Untill my body will have a little bit
of energy to hand me back the steering wheel
How long will that last this time?
One hour? Two? A day?
Or will I never get out?
Don't go there...
Don't give way to fear
I want to scream
My mouth doesn't remember how
Drifting on waves of fear and surrender
I wait for the moment of liberation
One hour....one and a half...
When my hands and feet get warm
I know it's almost there
My body is waking up
And I...I feel beaten
A deep sigh, moving hands
My eyes and  ears made clear
Are you awake? My daughter asks
Sunny, cheery golden child
She has no clue of my trip to the Underworld
And I leave it that way...
Tears run down my cheeks
As I kiss her soft golden hair
Grateful that I still can


Sanna